Tao Lin (b. 1983) is the author of 7 books of fiction/poetry. His 3rd novel Taipei will be published by Vintage on 4 Jun 2013.

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5 July 11
vicemag:

 Dumbledore skillfully demonstrating—to no one, alone in his room, suffering from insomnia—the extremely difficult, polycognitive, 2-wand/3-function technique for “small-object levitation” that he developed over 40 years ago and has since honed to virtuosic levels, privately and with immense shame, as the technique’s only known purpose is for [what he’s doing now], which occurs with such consistently surprising frequency that Dumbledore “can’t help but feel amused” whenever it happens again, despite his embarrassment and earnest disapproval of its seemingly unending recurrence (though usually he realizes “it has happened again” only after he’s ingested an amount of pills and is chemically inclined to feel amused about it): levitating pills [toward him], [away from him], [in place] for as long as 50 minutes while struggling in a neurotic and despairing manner to “calculate” the optimal combination of pills he should ingest to guarantee a satisfactory night’s sleep, maintain a relatively low tolerance for at least one class of drug, and appear functional to others the next day—an especially difficult decision tonight because Dumbledore is additionally trying to “factor in” that he keeps feeling like he “has to” pee (has gone to the bathroom six times in the past hour, each time “trickling” zero to five drops into the toilet) and that, in a horribly devastating* error, he ingested one of the three** Adderall that he initially levitated [toward him] thinking they were “orange Valium,” a nonexistent “hybrid pill” that he daydreamed about a few days ago while staring with 80% unfocused eyes at someone’s ear at a Quidditch match.
*Dumbledore has a low Adderall tolerance and likely won’t sleep at all tonight even if he ingests everything currently levitated that isn’t Adderall
**Dumbledore is currently levitating the remaining two Adderall [away from him] with an incredibly applied quality of controlled acceleration (the Adderall will decelerate beautifully, one can tell, as they near the dresser) that is truly virtuosic, having channeled most of his anger/frustration not into “curse words” or “hitting things,” like many of his peers, he feels, but “wand control”—something he learned to do as a small child and has always felt to be the principle factor in his success in life, not “talent” or “chance” or even “hard work”
TAO LIN
Previously: Extreme Close-up of a 30mg Adderall

vicemag:

Dumbledore skillfully demonstrating—to no one, alone in his room, suffering from insomnia—the extremely difficult, polycognitive, 2-wand/3-function technique for “small-object levitation” that he developed over 40 years ago and has since honed to virtuosic levels, privately and with immense shame, as the technique’s only known purpose is for [what he’s doing now], which occurs with such consistently surprising frequency that Dumbledore “can’t help but feel amused” whenever it happens again, despite his embarrassment and earnest disapproval of its seemingly unending recurrence (though usually he realizes “it has happened again” only after he’s ingested an amount of pills and is chemically inclined to feel amused about it): levitating pills [toward him], [away from him], [in place] for as long as 50 minutes while struggling in a neurotic and despairing manner to “calculate” the optimal combination of pills he should ingest to guarantee a satisfactory night’s sleep, maintain a relatively low tolerance for at least one class of drug, and appear functional to others the next day—an especially difficult decision tonight because Dumbledore is additionally trying to “factor in” that he keeps feeling like he “has to” pee (has gone to the bathroom six times in the past hour, each time “trickling” zero to five drops into the toilet) and that, in a horribly devastating* error, he ingested one of the three** Adderall that he initially levitated [toward him] thinking they were “orange Valium,” a nonexistent “hybrid pill” that he daydreamed about a few days ago while staring with 80% unfocused eyes at someone’s ear at a Quidditch match.

*Dumbledore has a low Adderall tolerance and likely won’t sleep at all tonight even if he ingests everything currently levitated that isn’t Adderall

**Dumbledore is currently levitating the remaining two Adderall [away from him] with an incredibly applied quality of controlled acceleration (the Adderall will decelerate beautifully, one can tell, as they near the dresser) that is truly virtuosic, having channeled most of his anger/frustration not into “curse words” or “hitting things,” like many of his peers, he feels, but “wand control”—something he learned to do as a small child and has always felt to be the principle factor in his success in life, not “talent” or “chance” or even “hard work”

TAO LIN

Previously: Extreme Close-up of a 30mg Adderall

Reblogged: vicemag

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    orange valium
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